buddhawassexy:

"he’s 24 months old" bitch your son is two

hate:

im only 17 and ive already had like 3 mid-life crises


actual picture of me goin to school in the morning

actual picture of me goin to school in the morning

*cuddles up close to you* *puts my mouth by your ear* I NEED CONSTANT REASSURANCE THAT YOU STILL ENJOY ME AND FIND OUR RELATIONSHIP APPEALING

unclefather:

someones mom: make yourself at home, would you like something to drink?

me: *very dry mouth like spongebob in sandy’s tree dome*

me: no thank you

aweepingangel:

i was never jealous of barbie’s body

i was jealous of all the shit she had and that fucking mansion and her pimp ass car and her hot boyfriend

disimba:

He even pulled his pants up so the bottoms wouldn’t get wet

disimba:

He even pulled his pants up so the bottoms wouldn’t get wet

tsarbucks:

this is my favorite part of american horror story murder house

tsarbucks:

this is my favorite part of american horror story murder house